I am Baal Kadmon, and I would like to thank you for watching/reading or listening to this podcast. This will be podcast one of two about my trip to Sedona. This episode will discuss some of my experiences. Part two will be about some of the thoughts and insights that I would like to share with you. I am splitting this into two podcasts since this would get pretty long if I put it all into one.
Well, as you know, I am back from my trip to Sedona, Arizona. It was such a fantastic trip. I have heard so much about Sedona and its vortexes. I went in open to experience it while still maintaining a slight bit of skepticism. I thought at the very least; I would enjoy the desert. I resonate strongly with desert climate. As I entered Sedona, I was struck by its beauty and its serene stillness. I mean this place is so insanely beautiful. I fell in love with the land. As many of you know, I am a city person, and although I like desert, I am not a person who is eager to live closer to nature . Sedona is an exception.
For the first part of the trip I stayed at the Adobe Grand Villas, more specifically, this room. If you ever go to Sedona, this is the place to go: http://adobegrandvillas.com/rooms-Sagebrush.htm . I absolutely loved the shower… As a funny aside, they had this blanket that was made of faux fur. That was great and really comfortable if not slightly decadent; I wondered if Russian oligarchs sleep with blankets made of fine furs. The quality of sleep I had in Sedona was the best I have had in years.
My visit to the vortexes was a great experience with the exception of one. I did not experience any grand energy bursts or changes…That would come later. However, I did get a sense that something inside of me was “softening.” On the Airport Mesa Vortex, I felt extreme sedation, as I meditated, I was sensing that sleep was about to take hold of me. I had to break the stupor because all I needed was to fall asleep in the blaring sun. The Vortex at the Chapel of the Holy Cross was amazing; it is there that I fell in love with this painting. I am very much in resonance with the divine feminine so Mary really touches me.
My Trip to the Boynton Canyon vortex was a nightmare. Not because of the energy there, but, well, the nature . I had a feeling that was not going to be a good day for me. As I walk along the path entering the trail; I see a wild Boar just grazing near a tree. I suddenly froze for a moment. I know wild Boars are not exactly known to be fluffy and cuddly. I figured if I walk slowly away he/she won’t see me. Well, I was wrong; it saw me and its hackles went up, and I nearly gave up the ghost in fear . I am a city guy the most ferocious animal we have around here is the rat . Not that a rat can’t be a mean mofo, but a Boar is another story altogether. Luckily, the Boar was hungry, so he/she left me alone, and I thanked the good God above and the devil below that it had . I walk for about 30 minutes and start to notice that footprints are no longer present on the path, I went way off of the normal trail and realized I was lost. Cell phone signal was nonexistent. As my pulse begins to rise, I try to center. As I kept on walking, now at an increasingly faster pace, I come up to a sign. The sign says, ” Dead Mans Pass” FUCKING GREAT! That’s all I needed to see. I heard of those stories of people getting lost while hiking, and their bodies are found weeks later. I could see it now ” Occult Author’s body found in the Desert, Even his magick could not save him.” I thought, how Ironic it would be for me to be found dead in the midst of nature . Suffice it to say, I got back out alive and well and managed not to get gored by a Boar and mauled by whatever else was out there.
Luckily, that day got better for me as I approached the main event of this trip to see Don Miguel Ruiz and his family at Sedona Mago. http://www.sedonamagoretreat.org/ The grounds were amazing. I have been to other retreat centers, and this is by far my favorite. I have been to the Omega Institute, and it can’t hold a candle to Mago, not even close, not even in the same league. I loved everything about Mago. The food was great; the room was great; the bed was comfortable, and the people were inviting. That night, the opening ceremony was filled with music, love, laughter and even some tears. Don Miguel Ruiz spoke for a while, and I was immediately taken by his humility. I also noticed how flirtatious he was with the women . I was also quite impressed with his sons Don Miguel Ruiz Jr and Don Jose Ruiz. Ruiz Jr is a very charismatic guy and had a glow of confidence and self-awareness about him. Jose was a bundle of energy which, at first, turned me off because it seemed over the top, but in person, and in his class, he was far more subdued and resonated with a strong sense of purpose and a love for life. I ended up having a lot in common with him. I appreciated that. I had very meaningful personal time with them both and came to the conclusion that they are quality people. I will meet with them again, in a less formal setting.
It was at the opening ceremony that I started to soften a bit. They opened the weekend with a Native American dance troupe. This troupe was a family affair. Although it was amazing, I found myself getting offended by it. My inner monologue was crucifying the father for exploiting his children and turning the Native American story into a circus act. I was shocked by this immediate judgment and realized that was a very pessimistic thing of me to think. It was at this point that I started to become hyper aware of my judgments. It is of course not the first time I have become aware of them, but it became very focused on this trip.
The next morning, I attended an early-morning meditation; we all walked through this beautiful labyrinth. I found myself getting annoyed there as well. There were people walking the labyrinth very slowly, which of course slows down the entire group. At first, my NY side comes out, and I was like ” Come on, come on, let’s go, let’s go” in my mind of course . I then had to witness that and realized that this person was probably doing us all a favor by slowing us down. It forced all of us to center and stay mindful. I realized then that it was alright. Why am I in a hurry? After we exited the labyrinth, we all stood in a circle with one of the members sitting inside of it. She decided not to be part of the outer Circle. She sat there and began to sing and started to put her spirituality on display for all to see. I found myself again, feeling judgmental and annoyed. I had to step that back as well, and I realized that, yes, perhaps she is doing that for attention but who am I to judge her path? Maybe this is part of her path, and maybe this is a result of her being ignored in life; I don’t know. Who was I to deny her of this experience? It’s her path. I don’t know her. It helped that she had a spectacular voice; she sang in Spanish, and it was flawless Spanish at that. So yes, the other participants were mirrors for me, and I was forced to face my judgments and preconceived notions. We all have them, and they are often right there below the surface. When they are triggered, we mindlessly feed them until we get a moment of insight that makes us stop. In the end, they just eat us alive whilst the person we have the judgment against gets to live rent free in our minds and they don’t even have a clue any of this is happening.
That same day I had a workshop with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. That was great, we had a deep but short conversation regarding several things and at the end of the class, he hugged me and kissed me three times on the cheek and told me he loved me. Then as I turned around, Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the Four Agreements shook my hand and hugged me too . The Ruiz family are avid huggers. Several hours later, I had the Shaman Breath Work class with someone by the name of Linda Star Wolf. Many of her works revolve around a kind of Egypto-Shamanistic teaching. I have studied Ancient Egyptian history for decades, both as an intellectual pursuit and as a spiritual one, and I was HIGHLY skeptical of this. Well, she didn’t really get into the philosophy of it so I can’t tell you anything about it. I did get her books so once I have the time; I will read them. Her breath work exercise, however, was incredibly powerful and very simple. Her method is incredibly reminiscent of Stanislav Grof’s Holotropic breath work. I have studied his method on a purely intellectual level in the early 2000s as part of my studies on Transpersonal Psychology, but I never actually used it.
We were all laying down on yoga mats and blankets, there had to be at least 100 people in this room. She dimmed the lights, and we went through a brief guided relaxation exercise. She then advised us to start breathing in and out FULLY without pause. At that time, fast playing music was piped through the speaker system. It was really good music by the way. At first, I found it difficult to breath so quickly, but I got the hang of it. The session was to last nearly an hour. Grof’s methods can last three or more hours. I could not imagine doing it for that long. The breath work clearly alters the amount of oxygen your brain is getting and three hours seems like too much. Then again, I did not try it so I cannot say for sure what it would be like. I am certainly more open to it now than ever before.
So I started to breathe fully in and fully out. After what seemed like an eternity, I found that I could not lay down any longer. I had to sit up. My body started to tremble, and I was sweating profusely; I mean buckets. I felt very high but at the same time horribly nauseous. I wasn’t like ” cooool maaan, lets smoke a doobey” it was more like ” What the fuck is happening to me” . I kept my eyes closed and suddenly; I saw Kali, Lilith, Durga, Mary; Shiva and Tara swirled around me. Tears came flowing down my face. I could not get myself out of it, even as I slowed my breathing to a normal place, it was too late, I was in an altered state of consciousness, and it was at that point I felt I couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, Shiva’s eyes come in front of my consciousness and in a very stern voice he says “let it out, let it out” and then the energy just completely burst through my chakras and I started to cry and cry and tremble and tremble. Just when I thought it was over I felt the presence of Tara and heard, “finally, you can now see with my eyes”. Theoretically I know what that means, but I am not sure how it will unfold.
I suddenly heard the blood-curdling screams and cries of other participants. The breath work brought out some intense darkness for them. I could feel it. At this point, My head was in SPLITTING pain and that is very rare for me; I am not prone to headaches. The screams and the moans of the others was just too much for me to hear in this state. My heart chakra was wide open. I just had to get out of there. So I left, I didn’t even stay for the reintegration (Which was a big mistake). I stumbled out of the class like a drunkard and into the harsh Arizona sun. I stumbled over to the statue of Mary that was present there, and as I looked at her; I started to laugh. I don’t know why, but I was laughing. I knew something happened there that would eventually inform the rest of my life. Since I couldn’t really walk straight, I sat near the entrance of the building in which the class was being held. I watched as people emerged, they shuffled out, many completely stupefied. At this point, I was still incredibly nauseous and very thirsty. I eventually made my way back to my room and again; I started to tremble. I had a fire walk to do later, and I wanted to go, but it wasn’t in the stars for me that night. In fact, a fire walk for me would have been dangerous; I was not stable on my feet. So I just went to bed.
The next morning, I was still nauseous, but I worked through it. This was the final day of the retreat, and it was this day I met with Don Jose Ruiz. I must say, he is an incredibly warm person. And yes, he hugged me too . We had a few moments together, and I knew I was speaking to a powerful person. We had a few things in common so it was nice to be able to relate. He was the co-author of the 5th agreement by the way.
After such a whirlwind of a weekend, I had time to reflect and really let it all sink in. I will cover all of that in my next podcast. Stay tuned… I hope you are well… So Mote it be!